One of the most valuable pieces of advice I've ever received is to crowd-source your personal statements—to integrate the positive things your family, friends, and close co-workers say about you into your own evolving narrative. Doing so can make a big impact in how you present yourself in job applications, interviews, and networking, by providing insight into your personality and character from people who already know you.
"What makes you unique?" Many people, when asked this, freeze up; they forget everything they know about themselves and question whether they're all that special at all. Either that or they try to be too humble to avoid seeming vain or give a generic response that essentially blends them into the crowd.
I was asked this same question as part of a professional development assignment that involved devising a go-to personal statement to use when introducing ourselves to others in professional settings. On the surface, this was a pretty standard task. But, like many others in my class, I was stumped when I was asked this. Sure, I have certain talents and my own personal ways of viewing and doing things, but is any of that really all that unique?
I pondered for a while to come up with a perfect answer. Seeing that I was struggling, my friend and classmate suggested that I stop simply self-reflecting and ask my friends and family what they think about me instead. She told me it worked for her and it might work for me too.
What I initially thought was a good idea actually turned out to be an excellent one. I asked my parents, my close friends, and even a few other peers I had only known for only a few weeks what they liked about me and what they considered "unique" about me. It turns out, self-reflection really doesn't have to be done alone.
Aside from being a nice self-esteem boost, the reason this technique is so beneficial is that it can help you confirm (or reconsider) how you believe you portray yourself while also illuminating qualities that you might not realize you have otherwise. It also can empower you to make claims about yourself that you know, if asked, you could back up with such testimonials. It seriously elevates the quality of how you talk about yourself.
I personally remember being so moved by the responses I got. Their answers were so honest and illuminating, especially when similarities arose between the people I had different types of relationships with (effectively fact-checking the claims). These responses succeeded in helping shape my personal statement, plus my future cover letters, and more importantly, my perception of myself. They made me feel truly unique and helped me be more sure of my abilities and self-aware of the qualities people notice about me. Above all, I was so surprised that everyone I asked took it seriously by taking their time and exerting thoughtful effort. By viewing myself through their eyes, I learned so much more about myself than I ever could have by just looking in the mirror.
To give a sense of the high-quality responses I got, here are a few I saved from friends and family:
"You use your intelligence creatively." When asked to clarify, they explained that my intellect "manifests itself" in my more creative work (i.e design, photography, writing, computer coding, etc.), which is a response I really liked.
“While some people try to approach each situation the same way, you assess each situation differently to come up with best solutions. ...You face your problems head on and don't really ever push them under the rug or anything. [Instead,] you go through every situation in your own creative way."
"You're unique not only because of your different interests, but also because of the passion you're able to exert for each one of them. You aren't afraid to go above and beyond...[and] you put a lot of effort into things you're interested in. You have good follow-through and I think you're very loyal to people and ideas. Your sense of creativity and eye for design sets you apart as well."
"It seems like every experience you've had...plays a role in your everyday life because you want them to. ...you fall back on past experiences without living too much in the past."
"Your artistic talent and the way you see things differently than other people see them. ...Also, you're considerate and very thoughtful."
Short and to the point: "Your levelheadedness."
I'm sharing this anecdote because I highly recommend everyone do this. Whether it is to help write a cover letter or plan for an in-person interview that will impress a possible employer, to lift your spirits, or even just for the sake of curing your curiosity to know what others think about you, I know this is a very beneficial practice that can provide genuine, positive, and actionable feedback that will leave you feeling good about yourself. I also believe this is a question that should be thought about on our own and asked often of those we surround ourselves with for the sake of continuously growing.
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